The Inaugural Book

The incumbent president elect; President “Wiggles” is to be inaugurated into his second term and in total privacy. I suspect that the need for a private ceremony was due to the unorthodox nature of the book President “Wiggles” will rest his right hand on whilst reciting his presidential oath of office.



My first choice for the swearing in book is the Necronomicon, bound in human skin, and containing all manner of dark incantation.

My second choice is the Egyptian Book of the Dead, written on papyrus, and containing knowledge ancient and consecrating the reincarnated Pharaoh (as widely speculated due to the president, and his family’s strong resemblance to the past Pharaoh).

My third, and outside, choice would be some unknown ancient scroll looted from the Bagdad museum during gulf war II. Likely a Nephilem tomb calling back the “Shining One,” Lucifer himself to earth’s surface.